Violet Hill

This is the second time I'm blogging about a Coldplay song. :) I have no idea what this means, but it is once again rife with religious imagery (chilling!), and it is so beautifully written.

Here's a link: http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=X7N45C7mt8ui4fYtxKQE

Enjoy. And if you care to share what you think it might mean, please, I'm all ears.

Was a long and dark December
From the rooftops I remember
There was snow, white snow

Clearly I remember
From the windows they were watching
While we froze down below

When the future's architectured
By a carnival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low
If you love me won't you let me know

Was a long and dark December
When the banks became cathedrals
And a fox became God

Priests clutched onto Bibles
Hollowed out to fit their rifles
And a cross was held aloft

Bury me in armour
When I'm dead and hit the ground
My nerves are poles that unfroze
And if you love me won't you let me know

I don't want to be a soldier
Who the captain of some sinking ship
Would stow, far below
So if you love me why'd you let me go?

I took my love down to Violet Hill
There we sat in snow
All that time she was silent still
Said if you love me, won't you let me know?
If you love me won't you let me know?

♥

Everybody's butthurt over the Lakers' loss, and they're taking it out on me.

i am not ready

growing up is hard.

you gots to deal with grown-up stuff.

like money issues. and jobs. and snuff like that.

me?

i'm not ready for this world.

take me back to 5th grade. st. scho pampanga. where all i worried about was...my crush's whereabouts.

take me back.

i know i'll never grow old at heart; but i wish i could do the same physically.

So Yesterday

I went back to Western High today. The 20-minute walk from my house was rife with memories (I hate this word officially), but I was blasting Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday" on Colbear, so it was aiiight. :)

The halls seemed...smaller than I remember, and the rooms seemed...more suffocating. Yet the sights and smells remained the same, and my mentors were as inspiring as ever.

One is still a happy hippie. You can never tell from the kindness in his eyes that he suffers from inside - his father is on his deathbed, and has been for a while. His room still bursts with color, and his walls remain proof of my high school years - my attempt at painting forever immortalized in a far corner.

One is still joyfully English. The first person to believe in me. :) She likes Twilight, but that's alright. She claims that she reads bad writing all day anyway, so she's used to it. I laughed out loud.

One is still delightfully stiff and Japanese. My first Sensei. Haha. You were right about everything, after all these years...and you know it.

I don't belong there anymore, but it was nice to look back and see...how tiny that cosmos was, and how much bigger my prospects are...now that I've broken free.

Enough is Enough is Enough

Ideas were flowing for this post, but then I looked back at my older entries...and realized that one too many write-ups were about you.

I've felt this way before. I've forced myself to forget you. Why is it so hard to accept? If only I had a Pensieve. Life would be so much easier. I would pull out all the memories that keep me from moving on, and keep the ones that portray you as the bitter person you are today. 

You've changed so much. I never thought you could be so capable of holding so much anger, so much grudge in your heart. Was it really so bad, what happened between us? Was it really enough to change your entire personality? 

There's nothing left for me to do. I've run out of options; I should've listened to my horoscope when I had the chance. Damn. Those things actually make sense sometimes.

Anyways, I'll try harder this time. I have no choice. :) Everything happens for a reason, as they say.

You know what? No matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many different advices they give to me, and no matter how much they comfort me and urge me to be strong, this is all on me. I can't ask my friends to block these memories in my head. I can't ask them to hold on to my heart for me and wipe it clean of any lingering emotions.

It is so hard, though. (That's what she said.)

How long does it take to get over your first relationship? Mothaaaaa.

Haha.

I want it to end NOW. :( It sucks. And I'm getting impatient with myself. 

It's easier on me if I pretend that you've died. Because in a way, I guess you have. The person that I loved is gone. All that's left is this...replacement. An angry, angry replacement.

It's gonna end, right? Soon? This pain's gonna go away?

Anyways, you know what's sad? I've accomplished the most amazing thing in my life, and it's been shadowed by all this drama. I'M A DEAN'S LISTER, baby. :) Life is good. No, it really is. Or it should be...