Enough is Enough is Enough

Ideas were flowing for this post, but then I looked back at my older entries...and realized that one too many write-ups were about you.

I've felt this way before. I've forced myself to forget you. Why is it so hard to accept? If only I had a Pensieve. Life would be so much easier. I would pull out all the memories that keep me from moving on, and keep the ones that portray you as the bitter person you are today. 

You've changed so much. I never thought you could be so capable of holding so much anger, so much grudge in your heart. Was it really so bad, what happened between us? Was it really enough to change your entire personality? 

There's nothing left for me to do. I've run out of options; I should've listened to my horoscope when I had the chance. Damn. Those things actually make sense sometimes.

Anyways, I'll try harder this time. I have no choice. :) Everything happens for a reason, as they say.

You know what? No matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many different advices they give to me, and no matter how much they comfort me and urge me to be strong, this is all on me. I can't ask my friends to block these memories in my head. I can't ask them to hold on to my heart for me and wipe it clean of any lingering emotions.

It is so hard, though. (That's what she said.)

How long does it take to get over your first relationship? Mothaaaaa.

Haha.

I want it to end NOW. :( It sucks. And I'm getting impatient with myself. 

It's easier on me if I pretend that you've died. Because in a way, I guess you have. The person that I loved is gone. All that's left is this...replacement. An angry, angry replacement.

It's gonna end, right? Soon? This pain's gonna go away?

Anyways, you know what's sad? I've accomplished the most amazing thing in my life, and it's been shadowed by all this drama. I'M A DEAN'S LISTER, baby. :) Life is good. No, it really is. Or it should be...