Mind the Gap

Somewhere along the way, I fell off the bandwagon.

R e m i n i s c e n c e .

Feelings you never forget.

There's this big G A P that's developed between myself and my childhood friends. Miles and miles separate us from one another, but it's not the physical distance that hurts; it's the ideological, emotional, and intellectual changes. It's also little things like slang words I'll never catch on to, inside jokes I'll never get, pet names, senior year excursions, etcetera, etcetera.

But I love them nonetheless.

I won't deny the fact that I've been drifting away from my once fervent belief in Catholicism. That was a big jump I experienced - an upheaval of sorts...when I transitioned from an all-girl Catholic school to a...public school nestled in the outskirts of a healthily commercial city. No more monthly First Friday masses, no more prayers before and after class, no more Angelus at noon...belief became optional.

Today I go to church on Sundays, hoping to capture some sort of inspiration to believe again - maybe from a verse...maybe from a homily. But from a song?

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow me
I will bring you home
I love you, and you are mine.

Songs. :) Songs connect me to my faith and my friends. We sang this song together, perhaps half-heartedly, in between fits of giggles and gossip, but nonetheless...together.

If my belief is contingent with their presence, does that leave no hope of re-connecting with my faith?

Who knows?

Cheers to 2011, and to the prospect of a homecoming.