We made plans to be unbreakable,
Love was all we knew.
No insurance for the unthinkable,
Blindly gets us through.
This year started out with unbreakable plans, hopes, assumptions, and dreams.
Every single one of them came crashing down.
Wishful thinking list:
- romantic revival
- hassle-free housing
- vindicative vacation
Every single one of these plans fell through beautifully. Was it entirely my fault? Yes, that could be assumed. Could it be helped? No. Absolutely not. I was asking for trouble, and I ended up (rightfully) in tears.
But if I focus on the negatives, I'd be more predisposed to a downward spiral of depression; thankfully, I'm not too big on pessimism. :]
This year - apart from proving to be breakable - was an aMAEzing learning experience. I dabbled with the unfamiliar, broke through self-imposed boundaries, and enjoyed myself in the process.
This year was a year of firsts - first Cal football game, first spontaneous midnight rendezvous, first rock concert [aMAEzing], first 4.0, first job interviews, first rejections, first misled crushes, etcetera, etcetera. It goes on. One thing that shouldn't be lumped into this list, however, is PASS and my enlightening first semester as a proud part of it.
PASS and I had a rocky start. As with anything new, it was difficult to find my place and my voice. I seldom felt comfortable around other people, and I almost always longed for the meetings to end as soon as they started.
I don't know what changed. Maybe it was the people - the wonderful people who welcomed me with open arms and always had smiles on their faces whenever they would see me. Maybe it was the sense of community - one rise, one fall. Or maybe it was the organization itself; maybe the objective of "dedication to the recruitment and retention of Pilipinos into higher education" resonated in me and awokened in me a passion I didn't realize was there.
Whatever it was, I'm grateful it happened. I can honestly and happily say that I have found my home in Berkeley, and it is with PASS.
[photo credit to rita zhang]
